Did you realize I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), then utilize the flash films/games as the icing around the teenage-annoyance cake. Then when the editor pushed Diep.io – #1 Play Diep.io Game Online to me, I was suspicious.
At the beginning, I assumed to inquire about: “How are you aware I utilized to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not just, basically if i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to trace down younger me but, generally if i was right, he would know I was on the bastard. Then a editor would foil living plans by occasionally whispering during my ear: “hey, keep this in mind gem of any Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little self-esteem I have got left.
Like other narratives, I found myself asked who’s tale it absolutely was. So, one splash of water in the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but rather just asking me my name. Although, noticing this is an internet multiplayer title, I figured I’d hide how I’d be examining this video game by using a critical eye included in my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, like other free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts off with a whisper. You are a runt, the bottom of a pile, in a bad world seeking to shoot you at the back of your head. Or perhaps a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. So I did the most obvious thing: I blew throughout the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging every one of the circle with names about them. Yes, the aesthetic may be recreated with MS Paint and the sole thing that is missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me deciding on a upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. Something which became immediately obvious was that if I planned to live over a kid inside a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i then would have to pick regen eventually. Without one, I might be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked basically if i wanted a unit-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or so that you can shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly similar to a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the type of simpleton to experience as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, out from the fear of confusion otherwise, I went using the assault rifle option on my small tank.
In the long run, like the majority of things, my time with Diep.io stumbled on a stop as i began picking fights with some other players. Despite having the best damage output I could muster, probably the most speed, a huge regen pool, and a lot more health than I knew what to do with, other players were quickly able to put me in my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside having an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.